Marriage and Me

I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately (especially because of Andrea and all of her blogs about it). Between that and a conversation I had at work today, I decided it was finally time to write about it.

I made a comment today to Matt that I can’t wait to get married and get started with the rest of my life. He said something along the lines of “Yeah that’ll work.” I mean, I haven’t known Matt that long, but I thought he knew me better than that. I was a bit offended and asked him what he meant. He explained that he doesn’t think that young marriage is a good idea. I told him that I didn’t agree. Andrew piped up that he is ok with young marriage. He said “I’m 24 and I’m getting married this year, yeah I think 20 or 21 is too young to get married, but I’m young and I’m getting married.” I don’t personally think that 24 is that young and I want to get married at 20 or 21.

Many people at the age of 18, or 19 are too young to be thinking about getting married, they are more likely to be thinking about partying and having fun. I’m not that kind of person. I’m 19 years old and I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why should I wait until I’m 25 to get married? Why post-pone love?

A lot of people say that you need to “find yourself” before you fall in love. Who says you get to choose when you fall in love? What happens if you find the one for you when you are still trying to find yourself? You might miss out on the life you could have had with that person. And who says you can’t find yourself with someone else? Isn’t it easier to create a life with someone than to create a life for yourself and then try to fit someone else into it?

I mean really, why shouldn’t we marry our first loves? By the time you’re 25 or so, you have a lot of history. Twenty-five years is a lot of life to tell another person about. Why wait until we’re a certain age to look for love? I mean, yeah, if you don’t find the right person for you until you’re 50, don’t get married until then, but if you have the right person with you already at 18 why not?

Obviously I’m not saying that everyone should marry their high school sweetheart. It varies from person to person. Like I said before, not everyone is that mature at 18 or 19. But for those of us who are, why should we be ridiculed for it? I remember a couple of months ago when I first starting wearing the promise ring that Tyler gave me at work. One of the girls noticed it and asked me if I was engaged. When I told her no she said “good, I would have said you were crazy!” Why? I don’t understand why people have it in their heads that I (or anyone else my age) is too young to get married. I mean really, I’ve been with Tyler a long time (for someone my age anyway). Why is it ok for someone who is 30 years old to marry someone that they’ve been with for five months, but not ok for me to want to marry someone I’ve been with for five years? Is it because they’re old and “ready to settle down”?

Another thing that a lot of people think is that you should get your education before you get married. Again, why post-pone love? Why are people forcing themselves to be alone? When did education and a good job become more important than love? Since when is anything more important than love?