Memory of September 11th

Ten years since the terrorist attack on America. I can't believe it's been that long already. There have been all kinds of documentaries and specials on over the last few days and I have tried to watch as many as possible.

Sometimes it is so easy to just remember 9/11 as a terrible day when America was attacked and the world was changed forever. And it was.

Every year, around the anniversary, I watch all of these shows and remember. I remember that it was so much more than that. Nearly 3000 people died that day, many of them heroes.

I watched a show yesterday about two construction workers who rescued seventy people who were trapped. These courageous men, Frank and Pablo, ended up losing their own lives in the fall of the tower.

Another man, Orio Palmer, died heroically that day. I didn't know this before, but for some reason the firefighters' radios weren't working. Orio managed to fix his so that he speak with his crew. He also single-handedly fixed an elevator and managed to ride it to the 40th floor. He then ran up the stairs to the 78th floor: the site of the impact.

The tower collapsed just seven minutes after he got there. He didn't manage to save any of the lives up there but I can only imagine the hope that he brought to those people in their final moments, just by being there.

Not to be forgotten are the passengers of Flight 93. This plane was suspected of targeting the White House. The passengers fought back so hard that the hijackers crash-landed in a field. There were no survivors.

Usually on September 11th, people want to share their memories of the day: where they were, how they felt. Today, as I watch that horrifying news footage over and over, I don't want to think of my own memories. I instead want to honour the memories of the heroes and the innocent that died that day.

Not Enough Hours in the Day

Sometimes I really feel like there just isn't enough time to get everything done that I need to do. I know I have blogged about this before, but lately I just find myself feeling overwhelmed with all of the things that I need and want to get done, and I just don't feel like I have enough time or energy to get it all done.

Going to work is one thing, that's my job and I need to do it in order to have money to live. I've even taken on a second job now at the bowling alley where my sister works and I'm glad for it. I think it will be nice to have a change of scenery and have some new faces in my life. It's when I get home that the trouble starts.

Don't get me wrong, Tyler is a big help around the apartment, he helps out whenever I ask him too, but he works long hours too. He almost always starts work at 7 in the morning and I can't blame him if he wants to take a nap when he gets home from work. I like to relax too. But it seems like, by the time we're done eating and doing the dishes there just isn't any time. It is constant work to keep this apartment tidy and I just don't really understand why.

I feel like I pick up after myself as I go, but there always seems to be more work to do. I'm wiping crumbs off the counter, or picking up dirty laundry, cleaning out the litter box or emptying the ashtrays. How do people keep their homes clean and still have time to do the things they want to do?

On top of that, I really wanted to finish my last credit and graduate by my birthday. I've been puttering away at it, I sat down for a couple of hours with it today. I just want to get it over and done with. Once I finish the work though, I'm going to have to find a way to get to Red Hill during the day to write my exam and then go to Hill Park and see if I can get my volunteer hours filled out. Is this something that needs to be done before I'm twenty-one? I don't know. I'm not sure if I will still be classified as a student when I'm twenty-one or if I will still be able to get my diploma from Hill Park. For now I guess I just need to finish my schoolwork and worry about the rest of it when that is all done.

Once all of those things are said and done, there is time left for the things that I want to do. I want to start working on my novel again. The problem is, I want to be able to have a good couple of hours to pound away at it. I don't want to try and pick up where I left off in November with only a few minutes in a day. I want to be able to put real effort into that. I especially need to be able to do that if I'm going to be able to get it finished and edited by the beginning of July so that I can order my free copy of it from CreateSpace.

The thing that sucks the most about all of this, is that I feel like I don't even have time to do all of those things. I find myself thinking "I'll do it later" "I'll just go on facebook for a minute" "I'll just watch one more video on youtube" "I'll just log on quick to check my email". I'm beginning to think that this would all be easier if I didn't have a computer to distract me from the stuff that I really need to be doing. But truthfully, sitting on my butt in front of the computer for a couple of hours, or curling up on the couch with Tyler to watch TV or sitting on the balcony smoking and reading a good book is what I would always rather be doing.

I think maybe what I need to start doing is rewarding myself with the stuff that I really want to do. I've always been the kind of person who would rather get everything done at once so that I can relax afterward, but this doesn't really work. I find myself getting worn out too quickly and just plopping down without finishing everything. Maybe I need to start telling myself "do the dishes before you go for a smoke" "do one hour of schoolwork before going back on facebook" "put the laundry away before you watch TV"

I'm not really sure, maybe I'm just moping and whining here. I just know that something needs to change if I'm going to make time do the things that I want to do as well as all of the unpleasant things that I need to do.

Thank God I don't have any kids! How the hell do people find the time to do all of these things and raise children?!