Tyler and I broke up. Actually, if you want to get technical, he broke up with me. We made it official on Saturday night, but it all started a week and a half before.
It was a Wednesday night and I had gotten off work a little early so that I could come home and watch American Idol at 8. I came home to find Tyler just sitting in our bedroom. He told me he needed to talk to me. I told him that I didn't want to talk right then, I just wanted to watch American Idol and eat the burger that I had brought home for dinner.
He said we needed to talk. He then proceeded to tell me that although I would probably hate him for what he had to say, it had to be said. He told me that he had spent the last two months trying to fall back in love with me. He told me that he didn't love me and that he was leaving me. He went to stay with his parents that night.
Needless to say, I was devastated. My mom, Claudio and I were also absolutely shocked. I had known that things in our relationship weren't exactly the way that they had always been, but I honestly believed that we were all right. I was, of course, still madly in love with him and I knew that he was still the man that I wanted to marry and have a life with.
We got together the next day to talk things through. We decided together that we were going to try to fix things. We would spend some time alone together (something that we had almost completely stopped doing at this point) and try to just have fun. A way to try and get the "spark" that Tyler had lost back. We went out and built a snowman, we watched a movie, I took him for dinner for his birthday and made him pancakes for breakfast the next morning. I thought it was going pretty well, all things considered.
Tyler came over on Saturday night to pick up some more of his clothes and his DVD player. We went to his parents for a little while after. It was then that he told me that he didn't want to try anymore. He thought that it was hurting us both too much, he didn't want to give me any false hope and it was just too hard for him. He then explained to me that he isn't sure if he ever wants to get married or have kids. Either way, he has decided that he definitely does not want to be with me anymore.
He wanted to still be my friend. The way I see it, at least for now, is that, if he gave up being with me, he gave up the right to be my friend and be involved in my life in any way. At least right now that's how I feel, talk to me in six months and maybe I'll have changed my mind.
I am upset. It feels like a huge chunk of my life and of my future has been torn away from me against my will and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. But right now, I'm just trying to focus on all of the good things and the good people that I have in my life, so thank you all in advance for your support.
#SpareARose 2020 & A DOC Valentine
4 years ago
10 comments:
You will always have my love and support and Claudio's too. You also know that you will have a place to live with us as long as you need it.
I am so proud of the young woman you've become, and I know that this is just another obstacle that you will overcome, with the love and support of your friends and family. Love you!!
Lets test this first
Ok, it works. Never left a comment here before. I am so proud of you Emily. I always have been. You have become a beautiful woman and have so much to offer the world - you have already given it so much. I love you. Know that you always have a second home here without asking. (well 30 min notice would be nice or you sit at the airport till we can get there). I like the way you said that a chapter is done. Your life will have many many chapters and so many of them are not written yet. Some of them are not happy but they are each a blessing and worth living. You are never further away than a text or a phone call.
I love you
Dad
Hey Kitten, I've decided that that will be my pet name for you, because you love cats and you are so like a kitten, hope you don't mind. (you can tell me if you do lol) Anyway,boys suck,thats why we have all girls, we love girls, they are just so much more sweeter and nicer than boys.
When this nerd of a boy broke up with Star, I went straight to the drug store, (not to poison him) but to buy; nail polish in bright red, boxes of chocolates, tissues and girly movies so we could snuggle up on the sofa and cry and indulge and then cry and indulge. Wish I was there or you here so we could do the same. It really helps. I'm sending you a big HUG Em, you WILL be alright, I know. But it still hurts like hell and hits you at all different times. Cry a little and then look up and start spreading that "million dollar" smile around. You light up a room and give joy when you smile you know. When it's really hard kitten, you know those times when you are alone and really hurting, climb up into your heavenly Fathers Arms and let Him hold you on His lap and love you. Close your eyes and think of your self there. He loves you completely.
Come see us soon. We love you Em.
God Bless. your wicked step-mum :)
Hey Em. I don't know exactly what to say. But, I hope you know that we are all here for you.
"If only songs were sung to guide the doubtful ones beyond the rough where not as much is good enough. If you find yourself amongst the lonely ones, I will be waiting here with open arms. I can't coerce you into this one. I'll choose unloved instead."
I don't credit finding that song, that was nicole. But i think its perfect.
On the lighter side of things, I say settle down with a cozy blanket, ice cream, and a slasher movie. haha. I am sure you will make it through, you are a tough chick. But just know, that we are here for you.
And I promise that i will give you a smile every time i see you. :D
Emily,
I am so proud of how strong ur being, I can't imagine how you must feel. I'm really sorry that this happened. You are such a beautiful girl and I hope this is a time where you can grow in the Lord and see the hope he brings. When I think back on life and its hard times, I'm glad I had a mum to cry with and a God who's love is so unconditional. U have 4 sisters in GA who love ya and our always here to chat with. My mum always gave me the verse Jeremiah 29:11, I hope its an encouragement to you. Love ya Sis, Abby
remember its ok to hurt!
my mums right boys suck, but we love em anyways. I am so sorry you are going thru this... it isnt fair when you dont know exactly why things happen, and your never ever really given a straight answer. so as elisabeth taylor would say, " now is the time for guts and glory" tighten your boot straps hold up you chin stay calm and carry on. You are BEAUTIFUL and worth LOVE and you dont ever forget that! I love you! Praying for you and praying for you to have PEACE & COMFORT!
Hey Emily, We (Monica and I) had heard earlier tonight through the grapevine about all that has happened the last few days. I was in your place about 12 years ago, so I can relate. If you ever need anything or you want a break from things in Hamilton, you are always welcome to visit here in Niagara Falls, afterall I am still your God Father, hehe, so anytime you need anything we are here. The whole thing now is like losing someone to death, it is a grieving process, one that will get better with time. You are in our prayers, keep smiling.
Love, Uncle Dan, Aunt Monica and Cousin William too!
Emily my dear. Someone once said that if the world didn't suck then we'd all fall off... well, at least you won't fall off. I can remember breaking up with my first girlfriend in college...her dad had mentioned marriage and that scared me. I wasn't ready nor prepared for that. God will provide for you His special Knight, mature and ready to take you to be his... continue to bless others with God's love, always, regardless of circumstances that you have no control over. Unfortunately life has too many of those but Christ has set us free from condemnation and free to forgive and move on to greater things and seasons with Him. My love always to you young lady Emily. And your smile needs to be seen by many more people... Jim White
I love you Emily!! I am your best friend and we have been through everything together! I know what it is like to lose someone so special to you...my dad...and although it is a different situation there is still a grieving process. I am here for you through everything! Just call me! You can even call me at 3am! lol! Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, its not the end!
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