Love Story

I love the fact that my novel is just a regular fiction love story. No super powers, no mythical creatures, no fantasy at all. It's the first time that I've ever written anything like this before and I'm having so much fun doing it.

It's not the most original of stories. People have been falling in love for thousands of years though, so how original can one love story be? What's so special about my story is that part of it is based loosely on something that actually happened with a certain couple in my family. I can't say anymore without giving the plot away to some people (mom!).

It's something very romantic though. People say that you should write what you know. I've tried before, but never like this. I can write what I know with fantasy, and it's fun because you can make things up that could never exist in real life. Writing a love story is different, because this really could happen in real life. It's a new experience for me, and I think that it shows that I'm growing as a writer.

If there's one thing in life that I know about, it's love.

Nanowrimo!

Ok, so I was totally planning on posting my story as I wrote it. I even started doing that, the first two chapters were posted here.

I'm not doing it anymore

I AM still writing my novel, I've just decided that it's best if no one reads it until it's completed and edited. It is just a first draft and it was putting stress on me to have to worry about it not having an errors.

Therefore, it shall remain private until it is completed.

For now I am doing great. I currently have 5654 words which is actually 2320 words above where I need to be by the end of day two. On average I should be writing 1667 words a day. I am way ahead right now because I wrote 5008 words in the first day. I wanted to hit 7000 words tonight, but I'm not sure if I'm going to.

I don't want to start out too fast and burn out in a few days.

Wish me luck!

Engaged :)

I'm so happy!

The man that I love finally asked me to marry him. I can't wait to be his wife and I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with him.

He asked me on Monday night when we were getting ready for bed. It was so unexpected at the time. I knew that he was going to ask me sometime soon, but I wasn't expecting it right then, and it was perfect. I was brushing my teeth and then came back into the room. Tyler was sitting on the floor looking through a box. All day something had been beeping in that box and it was driving us nuts. I sat down on the bed and asked him if he had found it, he said no.

Then he turned to me and said "You know I love you and I want to spend forever with you, will you marry me?"

The ring that we picked out together is gorgeous, even more beautiful than I thought it would be. I love it and I love him.

Ideas

Now that I have an idea:

A girl from a wealthy, old-fashioned family is in love with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Eighteen-year old _____ wants nothing more than to marry her high school dropout boyfriend _____. Her parents don’t agree and force the young couple apart.

The pair meet in secret for months planning how to spend their lives together. They are willing to do anything, no matter who it hurts, to be together. When their plan is put into motion the parents have no choice but to let the young couple be together at all costs.

This is just a very basic plot synopsis, I can't say more without giving anything away or until I actually start writing.

Now, I get to do the fun stuff, the names! The names are a more complicated process then you'd think. Name meanings are very important to me and its hard to find names that I like that have the specific meanings that I want.

I want the girl's first name to mean: rich, wealthy, of noble kin etc and the boy's name to mean: poor, worker, maker etc.

I also want their last names to mean love or beloved

So far I have:

Girl's first names:

Diana – Divine
Celia – Heaven
Cordelia – Of unknown meaning
Rosaline – Little rose
Adelaide – Of a noble kin
Mona – Desires, wishes
Alicia – of noble kin
Alice – of noble kin
Daria – Rich
Nadia – Hope
Kimbra - From the royal fortress meadow.
Kimberly – From the wood of the royal forest
Davia – Beloved
Julia – Beloved
Amanda/Manie – Worthy of being loved


Boys names:

Mason – Stone worker
Turner – Lathe worker
Tanner – Leather worker
Walker – Cloth worker
Carter – Cart driver, cart maker

Last names:

Davies – Beloved
Edward – Wealthy guardian, rich or happy
Lovell – Dearly loved
Lowell – Dearly loved
Raman – Beloved, pleasing
Wilmot – Beloved heart


Help?

Also, I think I'm going to post what I write each day for anyone who wants to read along while I write. Keep in mind if you do that there is no editing done during November. It will be full of grammar and spelling errors as well as (probably) continuity errors and scenes that will be completely changed or deleted later on. It is by no means a finished product. :)

Stumped...Nanowrimo again

So, I really want to do Nanowrimo this year and win! I don't even really care if all I write is crap, I just want to get my 50,000 words written in November this year since I gave up last year about halfway through (I wrote just over 22,000 words).

So today I was surfing the nanowrimo website's FAQ section when I noticed that they strongly encourage the writers to use an outline for their novel. So I figured, during October I'll write myself an outline so that I'd be more prepared than I was last year.

The only problem is, I don't know what to write about. This is the worst possible time to get writer's block, I feel like I don't have a creative bone in my body right now. I know that I don't want to write about vampires (tried that last year) and I don't want to try to write my own life story (tried that last year as well). Other than that, I haven't got a clue. I don't even know if I want to write fantasy or real life.

Hopefully something will come to me soon. Otherwise November is going to suck.

Beauty Pageants

I was watching the show Toddlers and Tiaras last night and it got me wondering. Is there any reason for this? Are there any positive effects of pageants for children? While I was doing my research I had a lot of trouble finding any positives effects at all. Here is what I did find:






Pageants can help prepare young girls for real life, they can give them skills that are being forgotten and may never be taught to them otherwise. These girls learn manners, etiquette and grace during the pageant. Poise and grace are things that were important to young women a hundred years ago, but have been all but forgotten now.

On the other hand, one might argue that being in pageants robs these girls of their childhood. Pageants take up a lot of time. There is not only a lot of traveling involved, but a lot of other preparation. These girls must get tans and learn how to dance or sing before they even have a chance of winning. Their talents must be refined before they are able to compete. This causes them to miss out on playing regularly and on just being a kid. Schoolwork may sometimes be neglected in order to prepare for a pageant weekend. Sometimes the pageants may fall on the same days as other events and the child will miss out on that school trip or on their friend's birthday party.

Pageants can raise a child's self confidence. A shy child may open up and feel better about themselves while onstage and getting so much positive attention. It can make children outgoing and give them the independence to do better later life.

Competing to see who is the prettiest can also take a very negative tole on a child. If they don't win and they aren't getting positive attention, their self-esteem will almost certainly be lowered. It can lead to problems later in life. When these girls are teenagers they are going to care way too much about beauty and will judge themselves and their peers solely on their looks. They will think that beauty is everything and that they should use it to get what they want. Teens who were once pageant children may end up with low self-esteem, eating disorders and depression as well as a sense of never being good enough.

It can also lead to children being extremely spoiled. Being given pretty clothes and all kinds of attention can give children a sense of entitlement. Parents may sometimes bribe their kids to do the things that they don't want to, or to get them to perform better, for example "if you win today, I'll buy you that cell phone you wanted," or "if you just practice the routine another half an hour we'll go out for ice cream". Children may begin to realize this and manipulate their parents into giving them whatever they want.


Pageants can be fun for children. If too much stock isn't put into winning, a child can slow down and enjoy what they are doing. They will be happy while performing and improving their skills. It's fun to get dressed up and look nice. They may even be able to make long lasting friendships with other girls in the pageants who know just what their life is like.


While it may be fun for these little girls to play 'dress-up' it is innapropriate for these parents to be oversexualizing their children. These little girls dress, dance and act like adults and it is damaging. It can give a girl a tarnished view of how a child is supposed to look and act. This can also attract pedophiles and cause young girls to have stalkers or to be sexually abused.

The money that is won in pageants can go towards good things. It could be put away for special occasions or saved for college later on. Pageants for older girls usually have scholarships to be won. More focus is put on a platform (a charity or an awareness program that the girl supports) and volunteer work is also an important factor.


The problem is, the younger girls in beauty pageants don't need to worry about community service or charities. Chances are the money being won is going towards paying for the pageants. Pageants are extremely expensive. The dresses can cost thousands of dollars plus traveling costs, makeup, hairpieces, dance/singing lessons and other costs. Often the child's mother doesn't work and devotes her time only to the pageants and running the child's schedule. This can cause parents to be more concerned with their child winning money and can put pressure on the girl.


Finally, pageants effect the whole family. They bring the child and the parents together by giving them something to do with each other. Each pageant can be like a family project or vacation for these children. It means they get to spend a lot of time with their mothers who are often at home with them and not at work.

Pageants can also tear families apart. If there are older sisters or brothers, it could be hard on them to have a sibling who is in pageants. It might make them feel bad about the way that they look. It can also cause them to feel like they aren't as loved by their parents because they don't receive as much attention as the child who is in the pageant. It can cause them to feel ugly or useless compared to their sibling.

In conclusion, pageants do more harm to children than they do good. They do have a few positive effects on a child and a family, but they are heavily outweighed by all of the negative effects. This is not something that I will ever involve my children in and I don't have very much respect for the parents that do.

Amethysts

Mythical Properties of Amethysts according to Jewelsforme.com


According to Greek mythology, Amethyst was a young virgin who became the object of wrath of the Greek God Dionysus after he became intoxicated with red wine. When Amethyst cried out to Goddess Diana for help, she immediately turned the girl into a white, shimmering stone (quartz). When Dionysus realized what had happened and felt remorse for his actions, his tears dripped into his goblet of red wine. The goblet overturned, and the red wine spilled all over the white rock, saturating it until it became the purple quartz that is now known as Amethyst.

The name amethyst derives from the ancient Greek word amethustos, meaning sober. It was said that an amethyst could prevent the bearer from becoming excessively drunk and also instills a sober and serious mind. It was believed that if a person drank from a cup or goblet made entirely of amethyst, he or she would not get drunk at all. In Greek mythology, amethyst was rock crystal dyed purple by the tears of Dionysus, the god of wine and revelry. Ancient Egyptians used the stone as the representative of the zodiac sign of the goat. The goat was considered the enemy of vines and vineyards, and therefore the antidote of wine.

Amethyst has been thought to have many attributes throughout history, and all of them are good. The stone was thought to control evil thoughts, quicken intelligence, make a shrewd man in business, preserve soldiers from battle wounds, aid the warrior to victory, help the hunter in search of his game, protect the wearer from contagious diseases, and put demons to flight if the figure of a bear is inscribed on the jewel. Amethyst was known as a gem that would bring forth the highest, purest aspirations of human kind. Chastity, sobriety, and control over one’s thoughts were all attributes heightened by wearing the stone. The gem would guard against the anger of passion, and the violent or base nature of its wearer. The stone encouraged calm, bravery, and contemplation.

Amethyst has religious connotations, as well. It was one of the twelve stones that adorned the breastplate of the high priest Aaron (Exodus 39). Amethyst later has stood for the tribe of Dan, one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel. The Apostle Matthias and the Guardian Angel Adnachiel spirit are associated with Amethyst, as well. During the Middle Ages, Amethyst stood for piety and celibacy and was therefore worn by members of the Catholic Church clergy and was used to adorn crosses.

During the Renaissance, Amethyst has stood for humility and modesty. Throughout the ages, powerful and rich monarchs have used Amethyst as a symbol of royalty, and some Amethysts even decorate the British Crown Jewels. Rumor has it that Amethyst was a personal favorite of Queen Catherine the Great of Russia.

Historically, the stone was believed to assist prophecy and visions and to bring riches and powers to its owners. It has always been associated with the civil and religious classes that have ruled human cultures. In the Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui, the amethyst enhances the wealth corner focusing on the giving and receiving of material wealth. At the highest level, amethyst bestows the spiritual understanding required to reach the state of bliss. It is associated with the crown chakra at the top of the head where divine essence enters. It is a good stone to solve discord, suggested for children and warring relatives. In Renaissance magic, an amethyst engraved with the image of a bear was worn as a protective amulet. In Graeco-Roman times, rings of amethyst set in bronze were worn as charms against evil, and magical cups carved from amethyst banished sorrow and evil from all who drank.

Newsy?

Ok, so this is a totally boring news post about my life :)

I started looking at college stuff yesterday. I planned on taking at least a year or two off after high school (I'm going into my second year off now) so I'm not behind in my life plan or anything yet. The problem is, I'm not 100% sure what I want to do yet. My dream job would be to edit books, I'm just not sure how to go about doing that. With the experience I had in high school, I could always go for some sort of pharmacy/veterinary/medical job, but I'm not sure if I want too.

I'm not sure if I should go with something that is a sure thing, something that is more guaranteed to land me a job afterward, or if I should take the leap of faith and try to become a print editor. I'm glad I still have a few months before I really have to worry about it.

On the topic of writing: nanowrimo. I totally failed at it last year due to simply not having enough time to write. I'm definitely going to do it this year, and I AM going to complete it this time. I may or may not post it on here, I'll decide after I start writing in November. I currently have no idea what I'm going to write about. I'm not sure if I'm going to try to come up with something or if I'm just going to wait for November 1st and go for it.

I've been crazy busy with work the last few weeks. I've finally learned how to open and am now getting full time hours. It's exciting, I'm hoping now that I can actually start to save up some money.

Speaking of saving money...Tyler has been saving his pennies for something special that he his hoping to buy after his next paycheck :)

Anyway, that's an update on my exciting life :)

Music...

All You Did Was Save My Life - Our Lady Peace

You, looked at me as you walked in the room
Like the red sea, you split me open
Somehow I knew these wings were stolen
All you did was save my life
Tried to run but I could'nt move
Well I paid for these concrete shoes
Like a singer that sings the blues
You saw hope in the hopeless

I'm not dying
All you did was save my life
Pulled me out of that flat line
Put the heartbeat back inside
I'm not dying
All you did was get me through, I owe every breath to you
Heart and soul unparalyzed, all you did was save my life
Save my life

I'm not for sale but I've been sold
The more I hear the less I know
The lies are swallowed whole
In there insignificance
The story's been told a million times, but it's different when it's your life
I won the lottery tonight, the lottery tonight

I'm not dying
All you did was save my life
Pulled me out of that flat line
Put the heartbeat back inside
I'm not dying
All you did was get me through, I owe every breath to you
Heart and soul unparalyzed, all you did was save my life
Save my life

I started to come around, the dogs are backing down
I'm not afraid to see, the devil's gone underground
This tightropes been cut down, and i can finally breathe
You, looked at me as you walked in the room
Like the red sea you split me open
Somehow I knew these wings were stolen

I'm not dying
All you did was save my life
Pulled me out of that flat line,
put the heartbeat back inside
I'm not dying

All you did was get me through, I owe every breath to you
Heart and soul unparalyzed, all you did was save my life
All you did was save my life
Put the heart beat back inside
All you did was save my life
Put the heart beat back inside
All you did was save my life

I do not understand how people can listen to crappy, meaningless music when there is stuff like this out there. I mean really, why would you want to listen to music if you aren't getting anything out of it? REAL musicians are trying to inspire others, not just make money like the rap and pop stars that are popular these days.

When I listen to music I was something real, something that gives me insight or peace. This song chokes me up every time I hear it, and I'm not going to lie, I can't stop listening to it.

When I Grow Up...

Is growing up something that happens gradually or is it something that happens over night? For me, it's been a bit of both. I've always been mature for more age, even more so in the last few years. At 19 I'm much more interested in moving out, getting married and thinking about my future than the average person my age.

My mom is on vacation at her trailer all this week though and suddenly I feel more adult than ever. She's been gone since Friday night and I've already done dishes, cleaned the litter boxes, three loads of laundry! I also made a grocery list, Tyler and I budgeted and everything since we are very nearly broke until payday. We also currently have no microwave so everything we bought had to actually be real food!

Not only that, but we had dinner guests! Andrea and Shawn came over yesterday for spaghetti. I realized last minute that I should get some garlic bread and some dessert so I had to run to the grocery store again. The spaghetti was all stuck together (I'll be sure to use more salt next time!) and we ended up with more food than we needed (better than less food I suppose), but overall it was a lot of fun. After dinner we all sat outside for a while before heading back in for dessert. Andrea and I did the dishes while Tyler and Shawn sat in front of the TV (men!).

The most interesting thing that I've found through all of this is that I really don't mind doing any of it one bit. Tyler is so helpful, so I don't usually end of doing anything alone. We take turns with the litter boxes, and help each other out with the dishes. I did all of the laundry and even put it away, but at least he carried it all downstairs for me!

It's weird to say that all of this makes me feel grown up, dishes, laundry and such are things that I have been doing for most of my life. The difference is, now I don't mind doing these things. I understand now that the stuff has to get done so I might as well get it over with. It's also a lot less stressful to just keep on top of these things. I don't want to have to do two hours worth of dishes at the end of the week or ten loads of laundry.

I'm pleased with how well Tyler and I work together. I am so happy about the couple that we have matured into and I'm excited to see how much our relationship will grow from here.

The Importance of Family

It's been forever since I last wrote anything! I've been so long without a computer and without the internet. But I'm back! I want to talk a little about the importance of a family, and a little about a very special lady.

Every year my family gets together for the long weekend in August and goes camping. We call our reunion the White Whoopee (because that was my great-grandmother's last name, not because we are racist). This year was it's 38th year! There were 64 of us there this year! It's always an awesome time, we really only see each other once a year, but this year was a little different.

My mom's aunt passed away just a few days before the reunion. I didn't know my auntie Carol all that well, but after spending the last few weeks hearing such great things about her, I wish I had. I'm looking forward to chatting with her when I join her in Heaven - because that is no doubt where she is.

She was 74 years old and up until a month ago was on a year-long missions trip in Africa. At 74! She became ill and ended up coming home early. It turns out the she had a lymphoma in her stomach which was quickly removed. She died about a week and a half after her surgery because of some complications.

She was so ready to go though. She was excited about dying, about going home. She was looking forward to being with her family that had already passed on and about being with God. She had doctors and nurses praying and singing hymns in the hospital with her. She was preaching the word of God until she could no longer speak. She was a woman of God, she lived every moment of her life for Him.

My family came together for her funeral and then spent the weekend together camping. This year's theme was "New Beginnings". We all had new beginnings with our faith by being shown her example. She gave her immediate family some peace because she wasn't sad. She helped to give them closure as she was dying and heading towards her own new beginning.

Everyone needs that. A family is so important, whether it's the family that you were born with or the one that you choose for yourself. We need to hold them close to our hearts. There is no one who can be there for you more than your family. They've always been there and always will be. You have a history with your family and you know each other better than anyone else could.

A family is all about the stories that are shared, the help that is offered and the love. No one with a loving family ever has to worry about not having someone to help out. They're always there for you as soon as you call. I want to make sure that as I grow older I don't lose touch with any of these people.

Alcoholics

Andrea (http://imcalloway.wordpress.com/)'s latest post "sorry kids…make your own dinner…mommy’s drunk" got me thinking a little. I decided to expand on that with...statistics! and my own opinions, of course.

I want to address the issue of underage drinking and how it can become an issue of alcoholism later in life. I read today that teens who start drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely and teens who started drinking before 21 are twice as likely to become alcoholics as adults than someone who does not start drinking until the age of 21 (the legal drinking age in the States). One quarter of all of the alcohol consumed in the US is consumed by people under the legal age. In the States 31.5% of high school students admit to binge drinking at least once a month.

On the other hand, becoming an alcoholic as an adult is not the only concern associated with underage drinking. Teens who are heavy drinkers are 12 times more likely to use illegal drugs than teens who do not drink. Teens who drink are five times more likely to drop out of school. Alcohol is the number one abused substance by teens and is the number one partial cause of date rape, sexual harassment, racial fights, drop outs and overdose deaths.

Not to mention the sex! Teens who drink are seven times more likely to have sex and twice as likely to have sex with four or more partners during their teen years than teens who do not drink. Of course this leads to increased STDs and pregnancy in teens who drink.

Why is this happening? For one, many parents don't stop it. They see drinking as a "right of passage", something that they did when they were that age. In many cases the parents themselves drink and/or are alcoholics. It is also glorified in the media. A study of 81 G-rated movies showed that 34% of them related alcohol with wealth and 19% related it to sexual activity. G-rated! These are the movies your kids are watching! Also, how many beer/vodka/rum/wine commercials do you see everyday? A lot, and not just at night, you'll see them during the day, during the news and whenever else your TV is on.

Something needs to be done about this. Something more than cheesy commercials and videos shown in health class. I actually had to do some research to find these stats, how many teen drinkers do you think are doing that? Liquor needs to be less available to them. There isn't much you can do about friends buying alcohol for underage friends, but the liquor and beer stores could help. I personally have been in stores and bars and not been ID'd, and I look about 15 even though I am 19. These facilities need to be more responsible and follow the law, ID'ing anyone who looks to be under 25.

These stats that I quoted are rising every year and it is something that needs to be taken care of. I've personally seen the damage that alcohol does to a family. Did you know that 43% of families have an alcoholic in them? This may not be a parent, it could be an uncle or a grandparent, but it's still there. Teens who are drinking often underage need to be aware that this is the path they are laying for themselves.

Adult alcoholics are selfish people who damage and scar their families and the people around them. They would rather buy booze than pay the rent and put food on the table. The will stay up late fighting and then complain when the kids don't get good marks in school. They will call their daughter a "stupid cunt" and effectively lower her self esteem. They will expect everyone to cater to their needs when they are too drunk to get up and do things for themselves. They will break things and then accuse someone else of doing it. They will almost set the house on fire by falling asleep with a cigarette or with the stove left on.

Most importantly, they will wake up in the morning and not remember any of it.

Packing

I'm finally almost done with my packing. When my mom and her boyfriend bought a house a few months back, I figured I had plenty of time to pack. I don't have that much stuff, or so I thought.

In truth, I don't have a lot of stuff, but I have a lot of important stuff that I don't need anymore. What am I going to do with that box of old photos? Or that history essay that I wrote on Creationism over Evolution? Or that poem that I wrote when I was thirteen? I'm certainly not going to throw those things away, maybe I should, but I won't.

I spent the last week going through a ton of paper. I did throw away some of it, but I kept a lot of it even though it is from another time in my life. I love to look back at old things. I want to be able to pull these things out and share them with my grandkids fifty years from now. If that means that I have to hold on to them until then, so be it. If that makes me a packrat, oh well.

Even if things aren't particularly important to me now, they were then. Otherwise I wouldn't have kept them, and if that old love note was important to me four years ago, than it is still important now.

Nineteen years of life, packed away in less than nineteen boxes (half of which are full of books!) yet these boxes contain so much. They hold what is important to me. These few possessions represent my life and sit as reminders of the girl I used to be and show a bit of the woman that I am becoming.

Five Years

How Do I Love Thee? - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.



If someone had told me when I was ten years old that this would happen to me, I wouldn't have believed them. When I was ten years old, it was just a crush, a fantasy, something that I knew could never happen. When I was fourteen, and you asked me to be your girlfriend, it became reality.

You were my first boyfriend, the first person that I fell in love with and the last. Some people say that girls should "play the field", but I don't ever want to be with anyone but you. You make me feel more important and more special than I ever thought I could be. You've stuck by me through everything and you're still with me today.

I never thought that I would be with you, let alone talking about getting engaged, getting married and spending our lives together, but I couldn't be happier. I just want you to know how important you are to me and that I couldn't imagine my life without you. I don't ever want to be without you there to make me smile.

Looking For Alaska and Rabia al-Adawiyya

Over the last two days I read a book called Looking For Alaska by John Green. It was an amazing book and I highly recommend it. There was one thing in the book that struck a chord with me. This prayer was actually said by a Muslim woman, but it doesn't matter, I can use her words in my Christian faith just the same.

She prayed: "O Allah! If I worship You for fear of Hell, burn me in Hell,
and if I worship You in hope of Paradise, exclude me from Paradise.
But if I worship You for Your Own sake,
grudge me not Your everlasting Beauty.”

She is so right. As Christians we spend far too much time worrying about whether we are going to get into Heaven or burn in Hell that we can sometimes forget the most important thing. That is simply loving God. It is wrong to love God out of fear of the afterlife.

We don't need to worry about what happens to us when we die so much as we need to worry about what is happening to us right now. Obviously as Christians we want to go to Heaven, but we shouldn't love God just for that. We should love God because He is God. We love Him because he is powerful, gracious, forgiving, kind and most of all because He loves us!

God has done so much for us in the past and continues to do things for us every day. He gives us strength when we are weak, hope when we lose faith, and comfort when we are abandoned by everything else. How could we not love Him? And of course we do love Him, we just sometimes lose sight of why.

If we love God for all of those reasons, if we love God because HE IS GOD, then we will receive His Kingdom.